When I was reading Alexander Nikiforov's book "Living Tradition of the 20th Century," I was struck by these words: "She told how once her father appeared to her in a dream and said: 'You know, here every kind word and deed shines forever. Do you understand? Forever!'"

I paused to reflect: how quickly anger and irritation awaken within me. I erupt like a volcano, spewing out scorching lava, burning everything in my path. And how difficult it is for me to even perform not only good deeds but just say kind words. Yet, for many, that's all they need: simple human compassion, empathy. But I don't have time for that!

It seems that by giving someone my time, I'll lose strength, resources, as it's commonly said nowadays. As I read about the lives of the ascetics of our time, I see something else. The more they devoted themselves to serving people, regardless of whether they were "close" or "distant," the more they spiritually grew, strengthened. It's not for nothing they say that in Christianity everything is the opposite of the world without Christ.

Remember that famous song: "all you need is love"? It's true! All I need is love. From my parents, my husband, my friends. When it's there, I feel alive! Others need love too. My love. But I can't give them this living water. The well is almost dry. Alas.

And when someone leaves negative comments on my blog, I find myself far from love. But even these embittered people are just wounded, sick. I see that, but I push them away. I lack the strength. Yet, if I listen another time, empathize, the person realizes they're not alone. They become joyful, uplifted! They don't need my rebukes, advice on what's right and wrong. They need warmth of the soul. And my reserve of it is miserably low.

Sometimes I remind myself of the princess from the children's movie "The Tinderbox," who was very stubborn. But she had a mirror that reflected her kind side. One day she got angry and broke it. And there was even less goodness. So what blocks my soul, preventing it from radiating love? Sin. Love in me, like in a vessel, can only be poured by God. But sin becomes a barrier between me and the Creator. Similarly, sin kills all the good within me. Only confession and Communion can change what's damaged, restore what seems already impossible to make whole. And a whole vessel, I believe, Christ can fill abundantly.

I won't postpone it! I'll hurry to cleanse my soul of sin! Then strength will appear for good deeds, which shine forever. Do you understand? Forever!

Original article: https://radiovera.ru/sijajut-vechno-jana-kapaeva.html