Who is in Charge of the Church?

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Svetlana Bakulina

When I first began to take conscious steps into the church, the personal example of someone within its walls was crucial to me. I needed a role model. That person became one of the priests at my church—Father Peter. His words always matched his actions. He lived as he preached.

He was the one who heard my first confession, advised me on important matters, and I always relied on his recommendations. He was a true authority in my spiritual life.

But after five years, Father Peter, to whom I had grown so accustomed and whom I regularly went to for confession, was transferred to another church. It was 180 kilometers away from my city! I didn't have a car, which meant our regular interactions would be cut off.

It was then that I first understood what it meant to have the ground pulled out from under you. It was as if the crutches I had been leaning on were taken away, leaving me to fall with my weak legs.

At that moment, I had to honestly answer the question: Would I continue to go to church, confess, and take communion as before? Or would the frequency of my visits now depend on how often I could see my beloved priest?

I decided—I would try to learn to separate the sacraments of the church from my personal attachment to a person. And I would continue to go to church as before.

But now, I had to confess to another priest. The one who remained in the church after Father Peter's departure. And it was the only church in the city.

A struggle began within my soul. No matter how much I told myself that we confess our sins to God and not to the priest, it took a long time to accept this fact in reality. Initially, I didn't like anything about the new priest, Father Vladimir. He seemed too silent to me, he gave no advice, or he gave advice that wasn't what I wanted to hear.

I constantly compared him to Father Peter. But they were two completely different people. The only things they had in common were their love for God, their sincere desire to help others, and, perhaps, the bishop they both confessed to.

Time passed. I began to get used to Father Vladimir. His answers to my questions no longer seemed so strict and inappropriate. And his silence and unhurried responses trained my patience.

After a year of regular communication with Father Vladimir, I felt changes within myself. I became more restrained and calm. I probably began to emulate my new spiritual mentor. Now I was attached to him. When I was away from the city for a long time, I knew I could call the priest, and in a short conversation, he would not refuse to help. This way, I once again felt support and a spiritual foundation.

In one such phone conversation, I learned that changes were coming to our diocese. The bishop, who had led it for over ten years, was retiring. A new, completely unfamiliar person was coming to replace him.

The news scared me. I knew the bishop well. I liked his approach to life, his sermons, and the educational projects in which I often participated. A thought ran through my mind: Why? Just when I got used to one set of changes, another happens. Once again, a person who serves as a guidepost in my life is sent away from me.

"Why does this happen?" I asked Father Vladimir.


"Svetlana, tell me, who is in charge of the church?" he asked in response.


"Well... uh..." I hesitated.


He broke the awkward pause.


"In the church, the main figure is God. Doesn't He see what's happening? Of course, He does. He knows what is best for whom, where, when, and how. We must trust God."


He said such simple yet important words to me. I thought about them for the first time and realized that I had been making the same mistake over and over. I was attached to places and people, afraid of any changes, and failed to see God's providence in them. Yet every such turn brings benefit to my soul! Yes, changing what is familiar is always frightening, but if it is God's will, everything will be for the best!

 

Original article: radiovera.ru/kto-glavnyj-v-cerkvi-svetlana-bakulina

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