It’s fascinating how the same words from the Gospel resonate differently at various stages of our lives. You either see new nuances or feel them in a fresh way, depending on your current situation and experiences.
The same goes for the words of the Holy Fathers and the teachings from priests’ sermons—they take on new meanings in your changing circumstances.
Let me try to explain a realization I had recently. Perhaps these thoughts will be useful to someone else.
For several months, I neglected my morning and evening prayers. My conversations with God occurred sporadically throughout the day, usually when asking for help or seeking advice. I missed Sunday services and found myself questioning the purpose of it all if I didn’t feel the desire.
In essence, by all measures, I was slipping downwards in my spiritual life. At one point, I honestly admitted to God that I had reached rock bottom. Even before I became fully practicing, I had some discipline in prayer. Now, I had no inclination to engage in spiritual work. I confessed, "Lord, I am at the bottom... Here I lie, without the strength to move. What should I do? Help me..."
At that moment, the words of the Holy Apostle Paul came to mind: "My strength is made perfect in weakness."
Previously, these words sounded grand and profound. I thought they were about the necessity of humility, the recognition of the impossibility of achieving anything without God. I believed that only after acknowledging human weakness could God’s help enable us to accomplish anything.
But these words resurfaced at a time when I felt, by all objective measures, that I was farthest from God. How, from such a distance—or more accurately, such a low point—could I possibly reach God? It felt like we were worlds apart.
Yet, it turned out that it was precisely at that moment that He was closest. It was when I had no strength, due to my own fault, negligence, stubbornness, lack of discipline, coldness, and indifference towards God, that He was right there as soon as I called out.
It turned out that there are no distances if you want to reach God! It’s as if a long line folded into a circle. The furthest point and the closest point to God stood side by side. This is my personal experience, my personal conclusion.
"My strength is made perfect in weakness." How astonishing! How comforting!
Original article: https://radiovera.ru/nizhnjaja-tochka-vysoty-natalija-langammer.html