Recently, I was preparing for a conversation on children growing up. It got me thinking—what do I actually mean by “maturity”? What is an adult to me? What qualities do they have?

The most obvious is the ability to take responsibility for one’s actions and their consequences. But that’s just the beginning. After numerous discussions and personal reflections, I’ve identified a few other skills that define a mature person.

A mature person can see their childhood wounds—not as problems or scars, but as challenges—knowing how to move forward, forgiving their parents along the way. This forgiveness, as challenging as it may be, brings a profound freedom: freedom from childhood resentments, a freedom to grow. Forgiving one’s parents also grants, as the Bible says, a heavenly blessing, “long life on the earth.”

A true adult builds relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. They don’t try to “remodel” their loved ones to fit their ideal. This frees them from the exhausting task of reshaping others, instead focusing on themselves, their own soul, and their life’s work.

An adult steps out of their own world to genuinely see others—their sorrows, struggles, and pains. And this perspective grants a unique freedom: to escape the cage of one’s ego, to soar above it and see oneself from a distance, alongside others. To forgive them if necessary. To show compassion. Compassion itself is a rare and liberating power, freeing us from endless complaints about life and those around us.

An adult names their fears. This is a human skill—we were given language. Remember how Adam named the animals in Eden? He saw them for what they were. Fears, too, dislike being seen and named. Many vanish when confronted. What freedom this brings! And a related skill: the ability to turn anxiety into action, to do something rather than sit confined by fear, creating freedom from the useless weight of worry.

A mature person delights in the beauty of nature. This is an exceptional gift of growing up. The sunsets, sunrises, forests, seas, fields, and stars penetrate the soul more deeply as one matures, and they bring joy that resonates ever stronger in the heart.

The value of time becomes tangible. An adult doesn’t “kill” time. They live within it, understanding well that it is not their time. It’s a gift. And this gift’s value lies in the knowledge that it isn’t ours to keep.

And then, perhaps the most profound skill of all: to love with compassion. When Adam named his partner “Eve,” he called her “the mother of all living.” As theologian Yevgeny Andreevich Avdeenko explains, even then, there was compassion in her name—compassion for the sorrows that awaited her. Since then, love without compassion is incomplete. For an adult, compassion is woven into the concept of love.

There are so many more qualities that define an adult. But have you noticed the breathtaking freedom in these qualities? Freedom from fear, resentment, discouragement, idleness, helplessness. The soul’s resources are set free—for joy, for creativity, for life. This kind of maturity is a beautiful thing. I’ll share these thoughts with my children—perhaps these freedoms are waiting to be discovered.

From the radio program "Private Opinion" on Radio Vera: radiovera.ru/svoboda-vzroslogo-anna-leonteva.html